12 months
"I‘m Gonna Slay Hard" - The Modern Misconception Beauty Amongst Women.
By Nemi Ariweriokuma

Hello all,

I am Nemi a fashion stylist/fashion entrepreneur at styletrailer which is an online clothing store. I will be discussing tips and issues bordering on fashion and style on PNN Lifestyle and hope you enjoy my weekly posts!

In my own opinion, the new generation of women have embraced the idea that beauty is restricted to the physical and enhancement of their physical attributes. The possession of that kind of mindset may be regarded as incomplete because that‘s like saying because I ate breakfast, I‘m good for the day and I essentially don‘t need any more food till the next morning.

I believe in our parent’s times or back in the olden days as arcade literature would put it, the definition of a beautiful woman lied in the ability to create & maintain. By creation I mean being able to bring forth life, being able to make one’s husband feel safe, being responsible for certain immediate duties & then consistently handling the aforementioned points and lots more. Further, being a beautiful woman in the olden days meant different things to different sects or communities but it sure wasn‘t restricted to physical attributes.

As art and entertainment progressed, artists began to go from full costumes to minimal clothing thereby making spectators believe that looking physically intact was the only meaning of beauty. Bear in mind that what we see in the media is art and those facades are carefully crafted by the female artistes to suit their music videos, their brands and to gain more popularity. Away from the big screens these nude or physically enhanced images do not necessarily portray their personalities or what they embody as women. 

It may shock you to know that a sound mind is one therapeutic way to enhance ones beauty. So many ladies spend several hours looking for material pieces like makeup, weave on, shoes, clothes and so forth to attract relationships and to look beautiful. That‘s why most ladies go on lamenting and saying stuff like "I wonder what he sees in her, she‘s not even fine, see her eyebrows". 

As a woman it is dangerous to base your significance primarily on your good looks. This means that in your quiet time you should be able to ask yourself if there are several multifaceted and valuable things you would teach your kids in the future. When you lay down at night to dissect the highlights of your day with your significant other, what tangible points would you raise in such a conversation.

What positive impact as a woman, are you bringing into the society? The sole focus on physical beauty is what drives most ladies to become malicious and vindictive. When you stay idle, looking for the next event to slay at, you find that your conversations with friends may revolve around petty topics like "who is Amaka dating? Is that her Gucci bag real? Is she really that guys main chic? Is she really happy? Your topics would sound this naive because you have restricted the parameters of a woman to be beautiful and not beautiful/ impactful. That is why most ladies past a certain age may come out broody. At a time when their mates were investing in businesses or careers, they were busy investing in the latest slay kits. How can you sustain these material goods if you don‘t make other investments for your future use?

When you assume that beauty is mostly physical and about how much you have and how well you always slay, you put yourself in a box. You restrict yourself and you find out that you put unnecessary pressure on yourself. You become unconsciously insatiable. Nothing you have is good enough, you delve into an unending cycle of having the best at detrimental and unnecessary cost. Your priorities become mixed up and to fill this big shoe you may go into unplanned debts. In madam Nkechi‘s store you‘re owing N200,000 because you bought the Argentina bouncy hair and you also bought full 360 frontal closure to slay another european bouncy you bought for N180,000.

Indulging in this kind of slayonce lifestyle would get you exhausted especially if it is forced. When you spend such amount of money to buy these things you may start looking out for the next best slayonce so you could assess her from head to toe. When you spot a friend of yours rocking something spectacular you unconsciously feel you are in competition.

Most people may not agree but these habits unconsciously creep into your mannerisms when you don‘t control yourself and get the proper understanding of what a beautiful woman should embody. I‘m not disputing the fact that slaying is important, but I‘m saying that a beautiful woman should be a full course meal. How can you expect to be a delicious bowl of egusi soup when there isn‘t any sight of meat to devour, meaning you have to be well grounded and all rounded.

To give you an idea of who a modern beautiful woman represents, here are some PNN LIFESTYLE tips I‘ll share with you, on being a beautiful woman.

- Take out time to understand your personality. Are you naturally aggressive, calm, rude, temperamental, vain etc? Understanding your personality is key to radiating as a person. This means you are comfortable in your skin in a non- arrogant way, knowing fully well that there is room for improvement and you could get better. If you have some excesses you would like to tone down, pay attention to them and invest highly in your character / personality.

- Exercise often and also adapt a healthy lifestyle. When I was a work out junkie, I had so much energy and I was constantly searching for positive things to embark on. My mind was always refreshed and I felt confident because my body looked good in most things I wore. I didn‘t have to over compensate when I was dressing up and I just needed the right dose of accessories and I was fine.

- Learn to nurture your natural beauty and by this I mean your skin, your face, your hair and your natural state. I notice that a lot of women (I inclusive) may in some occasions rely so much on makeup, clothes; hair and the full slay kit to look good. At some point I couldn‘t be seen outside without makeup. This became like an addiction and a problem because what happens when your significant other bumps into you without any of these accessories. How presentable would you look? There is nothing hidden under the sun, one day the non-exfoliated skin would come running out. So have a good skin care routine, instead of buying so much make up every time invest in body scrub’s, exfoliating baths, face masks, hair masks, pedicure and manicure. If your salary prevents you from affording these things go on to YouTube and search for DIY recipes for raw avocado hair mask, avocado face mask, honey mask etc there‘s so much goodness out there to be used to make your natural beauty pop. Don‘t rely solely on makeup.

- Read like there is no tomorrow. There is no such thing as too much knowledge. An educated and enlightened woman is an asset. What comes out of your mind when a man takes you on a date? Are you trying to gossip to him about your friends who are beefing you? (So 1920‘s & tacky). What are your conversations about? You would find out that in one situation, stuff that was read as far back as 5 years ago would come in useful, just keep reading and trying to improve yourself. Never get too comfortable.

By the way there is some nice party coming up next weekend and I‘m sure you all reading have gotten your invitations. I trust that the majority of you would slay hard to the event. But whilst you are at it always remember, if slaying is all you bring with you when you walk into the door, you would be significant till the next Slayonce comes in to take over the show.